Ice Cream Found to Prevent Cancer

Ice Cream Found to Prevent Cancer

Burlington, Vermont

In a new study by the Ben & Jerry Institute of Oncology, a link has been discovered between eating Ice Cream and a reduced level of cancer of the taste-buds. A similar study underway involving bacon and sex is also showing promise. "We were astounded by the results", said Dr. Robbins, lead researcher on the project.  Flavors from vanilla to tutti-frutti were equally effective.  Only rocky-road was shown to not have therapeutic value."  His colleague Dr. Breyer continued, "This opens up a whole new field of ice-cream therapy, we're looking into different delivery methods now.  A skin patch was developed, but proved to be to messy to be viable, same with the suppository."  Currently, the only delivery methods involve a small edible cone, or a thin cardboard cup with a plastic spoon.

Oasis Spirit

Like vapor briefly on a mirror

Those for the world, too sensitive

Sense the presences around us

Past the blinding corporeal fog.

In my journey's springtime far

In dire time of spiritual thirst

Summoned by oasis radiant

With misty leading ethereal chorus.

At the well, in repose the spirit

Invisible, supposed, to this stranger

Like all others, her well they sought

She unaware of eyes perceiving.

"Speak!" I said, only an echo

But felt the startled spirit near

The chill of loneliness uttered

Entered, she, my mind's eye.

I touched the lip, peered down the well

Too deep for me to see the darkness

Night consumed, she conveyed

Desire's not in the darkened bottom

"What offering have I, to know your truth?"

I spoke aloud for habit's sake

The answer, silence, but understood

The lonely chill became now warmth.

Winter Words

Ideas rain and drench a train
Destined for the final season
Chosen last, the littlest one,
for summer games, walks with a cane.

Its white beard soon impedes and covers
Cursed by youth, who cannot wait
Slowing life, showing age
Hide away fall's foliage color

Each winter, now, I remember
Though the year seems blurred together
Freed words melt from frozen eaves
Erode my dwelling's fragile edge.

Time to clear the season's hearth
Winter words, frozen still
Flow to sense when brought to bear
The season's twilight's glow and ember.

Chinese airlines solve american knee problem: poor posture.

Chinese airline solves American knee problem: poor posture.

Shen Zing China

All China Airlines, which has recently begun offering service to the U.S has solve the knee space problem that has plagued western airlines.  According to the airline's spokesperson, "We needed to have training on cultural awareness, and part of that training is instructing fliers on good posture." 

"You don't need all that leg room if you simply sit up straight and stop slouching".  He continued: "All of our stewards were intensively trained on good posture practices."  Additionally they found that U.S. fliers needed instruction on mealtime manners.  "Some of the Americans find it strange when their neighbors reaches over to pick up a nice piece of broccoli or chicken from their plates. You would think they never ate 'family style'".  "We also find it offensive when they insinuate that some of the feral cats that live on the plane might be in the meal. The feral cats are very scrawny and would not make good food"  Another bone of contention is the heating system on the plane. "Yes, we divert some of the jet exhaust into the cabin.  It makes our Chinese travelers feel more at home.  But the Americans complained that it made their eyes burn.  I've been to Los Angeles, you would think they would be used to it"

According to the airline, more training needs to take place to help U.S. fliers better assimilate to economy class flying. A recent incident where a traveler fainted on the plane, and the other passengers stepped over him to leave the plane brought the difficulties of cultural differences to the fore-front. "The American fainted right in the middle of the aisle, and several of the other passengers injured themselves when they tripped on him.  We're just lucky that no party officials were injured."

Seven Habits of Highly Addicted Internet Users

1. Click on any list of n amazingly obvious facts.
2. Curse that fact that you clicked and swear you'll never click on idiotic list links again.
3. Write a post saying that you'll never click on any idiotic list links again.
4. Read comments on your post saying only idiots click on idiotic list links.
5. Respond to said comments.
6. Tweet how the Internet is full of trolls these days and pine for the good old days.
7. Read this list to the end.